Sunday, December 9, 2012
Burnout or something else...
After 33 years working in emergency services I've seen a lot, probably too much. I've seen people hurt from stabbings, shootings, abuse, assault... from minor to fatal wounds. I've seen people burned from sunburn to completely burned up. I've had brothers and friends serving the public who were injured or died and those who couldn't handle it any longer, commit suicide. I've seen tragic accidents be no respecter of persons by killing the young, old, rich and poor. I've seen mothers and fathers scream and cry from the death of a child and had to be the one to tell them they were gone. I've seen cars, planes, boats, businesses and homes destroyed. I've had people die in front of me. I have been there when there was one, two or many deaths at one time. I have seen hate in just about all forms. I have seen evil displayed in ways that I could not have ever imagined. I have been injured myself, burned, spit on, screamed at, hit, had to fight to survive, fought emotional and political battles. I have tried to explain to those that did not understand what we do or why we are even needed. I have had to justify my job and to be honest, it grows old. Most in emergency services if they are healthy retire somewhere between 20-25 years on the job. Some work longer or stick with it because they desire to continue beyond the odds and keep trying to help. Some are forced to work longer out of necessity because of the cards they were dealt in life.
I have been a been a paramedic, firefighter, fire officer, Emergency Management Director, worked in rescue, law enforcement and homeland security. I have worked in small towns and communities to larger cities and counties. I have been elated on my job and have been heart broken. I have been so excited for the future and burned out, ready to quit. I have been on call so long that I almost forget what it feels like to not have to make plans for someone to cover for me if I want to go somewhere or do something outside of work.
Now don't feel sorry for me because thousands of men and women do this very same job. But... imagine if you will how Christ felt and still feels because he did so much more than any of us. He loves the murderer and the murdered and the abused child as well as the abuser. He actually hurts more than the parents who lost their child because He is the father of both. He is fighting the evil in a fierce battle that only Heaven's elite forces can see. We are here for a short time. I want to do well while I'm here but I fall so short. I get angry, frustrated, I sin, I doubt, I just fail! One thing though, I will never be perfect even if mankind expects me to be. I am covered by the grace of God, the blood of Christ and that's all I need. God loves me and He's got my back!