Sunday, December 9, 2012

Burnout or something else...

After 33 years working in emergency services I've seen a lot, probably too much. I've seen people hurt from stabbings, shootings, abuse, assault... from minor to fatal wounds. I've seen people burned from sunburn to completely burned up. I've had brothers and friends serving the public who were injured or died and those who couldn't handle it any longer, commit suicide. I've seen tragic accidents be no respecter of persons by killing the young, old, rich and poor. I've seen mothers and fathers scream and cry from the death of a child and had to be the one to tell them they were gone. I've seen cars, planes, boats, businesses and homes destroyed. I've had people die in front of me. I have been there when there was one, two or many deaths at one time. I have seen hate in just about all forms. I have seen evil displayed in ways that I could not have ever imagined. I have been injured myself, burned, spit on, screamed at, hit, had to fight to survive, fought emotional and political battles. I have tried to explain to those that did not understand what we do or why we are even needed. I have had to justify my job and to be honest, it grows old. Most in emergency services if they are healthy retire somewhere between 20-25 years on the job. Some work longer or stick with it because they desire to continue beyond the odds and keep trying to help. Some are forced to work longer out of necessity because of the cards they were dealt in life.

I have been a been a paramedic, firefighter, fire officer, Emergency Management Director, worked in rescue, law enforcement and homeland security. I have worked in small towns and communities to larger cities and counties. I have been elated on my job and have been heart broken. I have been so excited for the future and burned out, ready to quit. I have been on call so long that I almost forget what it feels like to not have to make plans for someone to cover for me if I want to go somewhere or do something outside of work.

Now don't feel sorry for me because thousands of men and women do this very same job. But... imagine if you will how Christ felt and still feels because he did so much more than any of us. He loves the murderer and the murdered and the abused child as well as the abuser. He actually hurts more than the parents who lost their child because He is the father of both. He is fighting the evil in a fierce battle that only Heaven's elite forces can see. We are here for a short time. I want to do well while I'm here but I fall so short. I get angry, frustrated, I sin, I doubt, I just fail! One thing though, I will never be perfect even if mankind expects me to be. I am covered by the grace of God, the blood of Christ and that's all I need. God loves me and He's got my back!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Update on Carla...

I would like to thank those who have been praying for Carla. Her health has not improved but her desire to live life to the fullest is as strong as ever. She has applied for disability and has been denied twice which in itself boggles our mind. The ones that make the decisions ignore the opinions of her specialists and want her to go back to work. She is physically unable. With her numerous surgeries, her loss of vision, her inability to use her hands for more than a very limited amount of time and her not being able to sit very long at all, I just do not understand what they are thinking? Then we see so many on disability abusing the system that have not worked hardly a day in their lives. 

Please continue to pray for her. She is getting discouraged but even so fights her disease and the system that fights against her. I do not want her to work again and I would never ask her to do so; besides she simply cannot. It is too hard on her and she deserves to enjoy life. I know God is in control and these challenges make us stronger. Looking at Carla and how she deals with her personal issues sometimes I think I am the weaker one. 

Thanks again for your prayers. God bless each of you.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Gift From God...

As I sit here typing before 5am I am thinking of my wife and how blessed I am. She has always been there for me. She is a loving mother and grandmother who would do anything for her family. She takes care of the home, cleans like nobody I know and works until she is ready to physically drop. But now she is in pain, she has many health problems that the doctors say there is no cure. It breaks my heart.  She has recently had to quit her job and I am glad she could. You would not know by looking at her that anything is wrong but I see her suffer. Please pray for her.

God I ask you to intervene.

Thank you for your prayers...